I have puzzled before beginning this chapter and the last as to how and where to start. This one is going to explain my current relationship with “God.” I put God in quotes because it is the word that is easiest to use to describe the spiritual energies I have experienced now and throughout my lifetime.
I don’t HAVE a concept of God as a TANGIBLE entity (though I have in the past). I use the word to encompass all that I would imagine God to be (if there actually IS such an entity). Perhaps other terms would apply, like “the force,” “the universe,” “cosmic energy,” etc. I suppose the real question is whether God as an entity exists. The truth is, you got me!!
I think I might believe that a God exists, but at this stage I’m not sure if it is GOD that I have been experiencing throughout my lifetime or what. What I DO know is that there is energy; energy that each of us thrusts out or emanates into the world. I think I believe that this energy exists separate from each of us as human beings but also exists IN us. I DO believe that we are one with the universe (or God, or the “cosmic energy” of the world). For simplicity’s sake I will use the term “God” to describe the energy that has influenced me my entire life.
Currently, I think of God as far bigger than any of us can imagine…an energy of goodness and light that goes beyond human imagination. For convenience I will make this energy a tangible male entity whom I shall call “God.” I just can’t think of any other way to talk about it without putting it into human terms, terms that the human mind can embrace. I offer my apologies to all the women who resent the characterization of God as male. It’s just for convenience and ease in writing about this topic. Of course, I am not writing this to avoid offending anyone, I’m just writing to write and put my thoughts down on paper. If anyone reads it and gains anything at all from it, then that’s a bonus.
To me, God is much larger than any of the religions I know about, have been taught or of which I have heard (and I admit wholly that I am not highly educated religiously). Still, I don’t believe that any of the religions have it all right. I truly believe it is beyond human comprehension to get it all right while we are still limited by our human bodies and brains. I know that I don’t have it all right either, of course, but we each have to live by our own conscience. I cannot in all good conscience tell you that I believe Jesus is the son of God. I can’t tell you that I believe he is NOT either. I just don’t know.
It looks like this is going to be a very short chapter. I can’t expound much more on where I stand with all this. I just wanted potential readers to know that I am not a religious person. I want readers to know what is in my mind when I use the term “God.” For simplicity’s sake, let’s just say that at this point, when I say “God” I mean all of the forces for goodness that I feel are present in our universe. I am blessed and fortunate that these forces are present in my life and that they have enhanced its quality and growth over the years. So now, maybe I should just commence to telling my story.
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